My predictions for WWDC

With 46 minutes to go before WWDC starts, here are my predictions:

1. Apple will announce they are not coming out with a 3G iphone.
2. Apple will release a new version of itunes, it won’t work with all current ipods, and will be a mandatory update.
3. Apple will add gestures to the ipod interface, so to move to the next track you have to swing your arms around like a mad man.
4. The new ipod will start at $400, and use the new version of itunes.
5. In addition to screwing over the audio and video “pod”casts you already can’t watch in itunes, the new version will make sure that none of your other “pod”aggregating programs will work either.
6. Having run out of big cat names, Apple will dump OSX for Windows 7 but call it Tabby.
7. After their second AppleTV failure Apple will release a bigger, slower, version, in another white box that doesn’t match any of your home electronics.  No one will care.
8. All current Apple products will shut down halfway through the keynote, prompting you to update your hardware by buying all new products.
9. Apple will announce the iMAC nano, a computer even smaller and more impossible to secure.
10. Apple will release a new further nerfed version of Airport. Still no one will know what it does.
11. And just one more thing: Steveo will show off his new iZune.