Dear Amazon,
You are really stressing me out. I placed an order from your store on December 11th (2 weeks before x-mas). And you haven’t shipped my order yet. I choose the shipping method that you said would guarantee my packages arrive before Christmas, but YOU HAVEN’T SHIPPED THEM YET. I have to have Christmas gifts for my friends and family, I don’t get to see these people very often. If I have to pay to have the gifts fed-ex’ed to them because you couldn’t commit to your guarantee, I will be very displeased.
Yours,
Josh
Straight up, next level bullshit. 
